► twelfth sketch [Video]

[memorychains]

[The feed opens to the view of Olivine beach, held by its owner as she records the horizon and ocean for a while. It records silence for a few moments before the owner speaks up, sounding hesitant.]

... if you've done something wrong in the past that hurt a lot of people, and every one of them said that it was alright and that they didn't blame you...

... but... you still feel guilty over it...

... how do you go about forgiving yourself?

[There's more silence and then an audible sigh, before there's an elephant trumpet sound, and Namine giggles as a Phanpy clambers and obscures half the view of the camera.]

No, this isn't for playing. Come on.

[The feed cuts off.]

Comments

[ video ]

[uuing]

If everyone already forgave you for it, there's nothing wrong, right?

... Uu-, then everyone can just be happy together.

[ video ]

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

I know but... even if I try to convince myself, I still find it hard that they really did forgive me.

[Video]

[wildcatidiot.livejournal.com]

I just do it again until they react the right way and instead of getting all hurt and stuff!

[Video]

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

... you mean... do the wrong thing again?

[Oh God what.]

Re: [Video]

[wildcatidiot.livejournal.com]

Yeah well...

[Tomo suddenly realises that someone who does not know her may not completely appreciate how this works. But she's too far into this advice giving to stop now!!!]

It's not your fault if they react the totally wrong way to something you did right? I mean... If you tell someone it's their fault that they knocked over a tent that you knocked over too, and they cry instead of yelling at you thentheyjust.

Right?

action

[watersbound.livejournal.com]

[...as soon as she sees the video, she's heading down to the beach, towards her.]

action

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

[Aqua will spot her walking her Phanpy around the shore, bending down once in a while to pick up seashells.

The Phanpy spots Aqua first, tugging at Namine's hand with its nose. Namine blinks at that.]

Aqua?

[Video]

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

... but what I did isn't as simple as that. It's more complicated, and it hurt peple in the wirst way possible.

... and I rather not do it again.

Re: [Video]

[wildcatidiot.livejournal.com]

If it's that bad...

...Did you kill someone?!

[dnoteworthy.livejournal.com]

[he hasn't had this problem before, but... he'll just repeat a bit of advice he's heard from others, which he feels makes sense.] When you find it difficult to forgive yourself, the best thing to do is forget what happened yourself.

While it'll usually take quite some time, distract yourself. Do proactive things. Things that you like. Eventually, time will heal all wounds.

[ video ]

[blazing-style.livejournal.com]

If you can't forgive yourself yet, then try to do something to make it up. Even if it was something bad enough that you can't really make up for it, trying to should make you feel better over time.

[Video]

[meatysoviet.livejournal.com]

[Oh hey, this is something he's pretty versed in.]

Get on with life and make sure those who were hurt were hurt for a reason. Is nothing more pathetic than an false statistic.

[He gives his reply rather plainly going back to rummaging in his backpack after a few moments. The channel is still open, he's just, doing other things while he waits to see if he gets a reply.]

[video]

[restardom.livejournal.com]

That's a tough one... do you think there's anything you can do for them now?

action

[her-mouse-jesty.livejournal.com]

[Once she sees this, she goes out to find her. At the beach, she slowly walks to her side.]

Hello, Namine.

action

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

[Minnie would catch her walking around with said Phanpy, checking her gear for responses and picking up shells. When Mam Minnie comes near, Namine offers a small smile.]

Hello, Minnie.

[The Phanpy circles the queen curiously, before retreating behind Namine's legs.]

[Video]

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

What?

[HER FACE OH GOD. Watch her pale up.]

No, no! I-I didn't!

I just... I just did something that caused a lot of trouble and hurt a lot of people in the long run.

action

[her-mouse-jesty.livejournal.com]

[She smiles kindly at her.]

Do you mind if I ask you some questions?

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

So... I should just wait until it goes away on its own?

[Video]

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

[She has to think of that for a while.]

What if the reason was complicated? It hurt others but was necessary to save someone. But in the end, it still caused a lot of damage?

[video]

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

I've been trying, Rise. But the little things I do now feel so inadequate compared to how much damage I've done.

[ video ]

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

Even if they feel so insignificant in comparison?

action

[cagedstar.livejournal.com]

Mm, sure. What is it?

action

[her-mouse-jesty.livejournal.com]

... What you did, that you feel so guilty over...

Was it fixed? Or was what you did permanent?

[ video ]

[blazing-style.livejournal.com]

Especially if that's the case! Thinking things like "it'll never be enough" or "there's nothing I can do" are just excuses people tell themselves to get out of it.

[voice, private]

[usedgrassknot.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you shouldn't.